I'm ready....

to make a difference or do SOMETHING meaningful....or something..do you ever feel like that? 

Brad and I joined a Life Group (we have been out of one for a year or so but seriously missed the connection that they bring)  (some churches call it a Community Group or a Cell Group)...whatever you call it, it's all good..cause we are on the same page...

And I can't explain the "pull" or "urgency" I feel doing the study we are doing on discipleship....and I really didn't even know what "discipleship" meant when we started..it sounds so serious...but really, it's sharing your story and Jesus with others...THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO...see? that's where I get lost cause I thought it was a big process...leading people to Christ..but really, it isn't...and I'm finding in this day and time, it's more about just being "transparent" (which is a huge buzzword right now but SO true)..not putting on the "religious" airs...cause if you ask me, NO ONE, not even me, likes the whole "religious" thing...I wasn't brought up like that...but more about just sharing yourself with people and developing relationships that MATTER and with intention...Dude, I care about people..I care about my friends...and I worry about them...It makes me sad that they don't have the hope and unconditional love that we have...and I don't mean that in a "know it all" type of way...this is the thing...IT gets you through ANYthing..and this is also important...You HAVE to have it to live a truly happy life...

I'm tired of not speaking up...I'm tired of being quiet...I have friends that NEED Jesus...and I know these days, it's not the "PC" thing to be or say, but you know what? I don't care...it's not going to keep me quiet because I believe so deeply in it...People need and want it as much as they deny it..and turn it away...and scoff at it..most of the time, it's out of hurt that they are resistant to it...or past experience...or not believing they are loveable because of things they've done in life...SO not true...we watched a video at church that cut me to the core...it convicted me...made me feel guilty and selfish for all the times I've been silent....I am surrounded by friends with DEEP hurts and issues going on..and I just sit by quietly? NOT acceptable...

Here is the link in case the video doesn't post ... Penn Jillette

...and I want to note that it wasn't "religion" that made that man go up to him, it was Jesus in that man...THAT'S the difference...

You want to know what? My Aunt, who is 60 years old, a recovering alcoholic, tried EVERY self help thing there is out there...has been sober for years and then failed, has scoffed at Jesus and whatever the hell He represents...you know what? She got involved in a local Christian based AA meeting, connected, felt the love, learned about the real Jesus, and got baptized on Christmas Eve...I NEVER thought that would happen..not that I doubt the power of our God, but dang, she and her husband have always been SO resistant that I felt intimidated by them....see? it's the relationship, the caring, the transparency...that shows, through us, the true love of Jesus..everyone needs it...and I stand firmly on that..

I get intimidated by people who are very "anti" religion..and ya know what I've decided? It's because I'm NOT religious..Jesus hated "religion"...if you want to be sure of that, read the book "The Jesus I Never Knew"...I shared that book with my Aunt on Christmas and I got an email back saying that she had "thrown the baby out with the bathwater"...see? We try to muck it up..make it complicated, this whole Jesus thing..and if you really get to the heart of who Jesus was, HE hated "religion" and rules too...that's so  not what it's about...

Brad and I went out to eat with some friends recently, who, once we got to talking, annnounced that one of them was an "atheist" and one of them felt no need to be part of "corporate religion"...and what did we say? Nothing...and that has bothered me since then..that we were silent and caught off guard..DANG IT...NO! You DO need Jesus (in the true sense) and you DO need to go to church to be in the fellowship of other believers...true believers..not all the fake stuff..I'm tired of Christians being judged by the few that do wrong..but here's the other twist...the church is not a club for the "righteous"..a true church is a hospital for the hurting and the sick, dude...TRUE DAT....He loves us all the same...no matter what we have done..we ALL have skeletons in our closet whether it be something huge or something that appears small that eats away at our self, our marriage, our family...envy, jealousy, drinking a little too much, eating beyond what we need, coveting, laziness....ya hearing me? We ALL have our things we struggle with...but the wonderful thing is is this...HE doesn't care..HE just wants us to admit that we are in need..that we all are not perfect and that we ALL need help...if you say you don't...really? Cause I can think of about three things in particular I need help with....

So, where am I going with all this? I want to be USED...I want HIM to use me somehow...and I know HE gives us certain talents and gifts...and I want to use the ones HE's given me for some type of purpose...I'm tired of just floating along, living life..which our life is good..but I want to make some kind of difference..do I know what that is? Not exactly, but I pray each day that He use me somehow...I'm really good at being friendly to people and hopefully for being a good friend...I care about my friends and want them to experience what I experience, but you know the problem with that? You can't MAKE people do stuff..they have to decide on their own that they need Jesus, when the time is right (just like my Aunt)...and really, I don't get what the big hang up is? It's so easy and so available....but you have to put in a some effort...I get discouraged sometimes because I invite friends/co workers to church and they don't come..or they come once, but never again...but what can I do? Pray for them and whatever they are going through, and hope they realize that they don't have to carry all these huge burdens on their own...and hope...and just keep being a good friend...I just hope sometimes it's not too late for people..anything can happen from day to day...you never know...all it takes is a decision...maybe I'm not following through like I should? and I don't want to "bother" people..always bringing it up...so I keep quiet....is that really what I should be doing? SEE, I don't know? 

Anyways, not really sure what the purpose of this post is...but I needed to put it out there....and if you don't like it, whatever..it's me...

Comments

[Cammie]

You go girl!!!!! Good for you, the world needs more of us to stand up for what we believe in.

[cynthia]

totally agree with all of it! good post...